That Time I Was in a Cult
What I’m going to share here will make some people very uncomfortable.
At first, it made me uncomfortable. Shame and guilt settled in and made themselves a home. How could something like that happen to ME? Well, it did, and once I moved past the shame and guilt, I felt over what I experienced, I was able to snip the invisible string that had been wrapped so tightly around my voice. My throat so wound up with silence, it was nearly a roar when it finally escaped. In May, I was interviewed by Roberta Blevins, for her podcast, Life After MLM. She gave me space to finally share a story very few have heard, and now I share that with you.
In December 2019, I found myself up one night, doom scrolling at 3 a.m. I came across a Facebook photo of a pair of leggings I loved. Where are these from?
My eyes scanned up to the name attached to the post. It was a friend I used to teach with and the post came from a private group. The post said “link in comments,” but when I clicked the post, I couldn’t see the comments. You haven’t accepted Mary’s invite to join the group. There are some details on this post you can’t see. My finger hovered above Accept Invite to see comments. I hesitantly touched the button and in a few seconds I had access to the link posted in the comments. The light from my phone illuminated the otherwise dark room, but not enough to disturb the man lying next to me. Between him working 24 hour shifts at the fire station and sleeping on the couch, I had forgotten what it was like to have someone sleep next to me. I rolled away, hoping I wouldn’t wake him. How embarrassing would it be to get caught randomly online shopping at 3 a.m?!
The product link loaded–Gray Camo Pocket Light n Tight Hi Rise ⅞ 24” $65.00
Do I really want to pay that much for leggings? For several months I had been lifting weights 5 days a week and reporting my workouts and nutrition to a fitness coach.
What if I don’t like them? I already hated the way my lower body looked in nearly everything I owned. I did want to hide my cellulite like the post mentioned. Fuck it.
Before checking out, I added a tank top and double checked the size charts.
They arrived within a week and the rep whose link I purchased from checked in with me about sizing. They were a little tight, but intentionally compressive. They actually hid my cellulite and lifted my butt like the post had said! I couldn’t believe it! A week later, the company released a pair of bright blue leggings that I loved. I had to have them, so another t-shirt and leggings went into the cart and before I knew it I was a lover of the product.
This was a time in my life when I posted about my workouts and eating habits often. When I posted a video of myself in both outfits, several people reached out asking where I got my leggings. I gladly shared my friend’s link and told her people might be reaching out.
“If people are asking you about your leggings, you should be a rep! You could give them your own link and make money when they purchase online,” She quickly retorted.
I was skeptical.
“You’ll purchase a starter kit which has 5 staple items and a $200 gift card. Here’s the current kit.” She shared a photo and I could see the 5 items.
Not exactly what I’d pick.
“It doesn’t really matter what’s in the kit, you’re just buying the kit to get the discount!” Mary explained.
“Ehhhh… $395 is kinda pricey for me. I don’t think I can do that right now.” I felt a tinge of guilt that I had entertained the possibility of interest. Why would I spend almost $400 and not care what I received for it?!
“Why don’t you host a party and then you can use the credits you earn to buy the kit? You know people will purchase because they’re already asking you about them.” She persisted. Hmmmmm. I don’t typically host these kinds of online parties so people would know I really like the brand. I gathered the details and decided there was nothing to lose, and I agreed to host the following week. In the meantime, I continued to think about the “business opportunity” she had proposed to me. Could I actually make money from selling leggings? I wouldn’t be against it. I did have previous direct sales experience with a supplement company 5 years prior and a jewelry company right out of college. Neither panned out for me and didn’t seem to align with my values and beliefs.
This is different. I wear leggings every day... I just can’t spend $400 right now.
At the time, I was a 33 year old, full-time, third grade teacher. I had recently been nominated for a national teaching award, which I share to say I was committed and dedicated to my career. Being a teacher was my entire personality. I was also childless and unmarried, like many other millennials. I had been living with my partner for 3 ½ years; A move that initially started out as a means of affordability, quickly became a burden on myself. For years he had been in firefighter and then paramedic school– while contributing very little to both our relationship and the financial responsibilities of our home. I was tutoring 8-10 hours a week on top of teaching full-time because I didn’t want to sacrifice my own wants and needs to save money. It seemed unfair that another person was living rent-free in my home because times were tough, but could always find a way to afford exotic hunts across the country and outside of it. However, this was also a time in my life where I wasn’t confident or secure enough to say that to said person, so instead, I carried the burden alone. Extra money would allow me to quit tutoring without worrying about bills.
A day later, before my agreed-upon party, the starter kit price dropped to $195 as a December Special Offer. Of course, I saw it as a sign.
“Let’s do it,” I typed out and responded to the graphic my friend had sent which displayed the 5 items with a reduced price tag. If nothing else I just got a huge discount on clothes. The confirmation email pinged in my inbox.
“Welcome to Zyia!”
What’s the worst that could happen?
Reader Note: Names have been changed for privacy purposes.
